👀👉🏾 Come closer. This particular post is for certain people. If you know you’re guilty, collect your chair and sit in the front row. If you’re not bold enough to send this post to the people that are guilty of what I’m about to say, simply put it on your WhatsApp status. They will click it, they will read it, and the Holy Spirit will minister correction.

Let’s face this thing called ageism.

What exactly is Ageism?

In my own words, ageism is simply when people treat you differently or look down on you because of your age.
Not your competence.
Not your maturity.
Not your experience.
Not your capacity.
Just age.

It happens when people feel you’re “too young” to hold a position, too young to have things going well for you, too young to be successful in your career, business, or life generally. It also shows up when people assume someone is “too old” for certain things.

But today, I’m focusing on the way older people look down on younger people; not because the younger ones are wrong, but because it didn’t happen for them at that age.

Examples… because some of you pretend you don’t know what I mean 👀

• You get a promotion, someone older becomes uncomfortable because at your age they were still struggling.
• You show competence, they say “small girl, calm down.”
• You speak well or contribute in a meeting, they say “you’re talking too much for your age.”
• You’re confident, they say “better respect yourself, I’m older than you.”
• You seem to have a clear sense of direction in your life, they start calling you “over-ambitious,” “proud,” or “small girl with big eyes.”
• You introduce yourself and the first thing they say is, “Ah, you’re my younger sister’s age-mate” (some will even switch to Yoruba: egbe aburo mi lo je); as if reducing you to their sibling’s category somehow defines your worth.

They will not check your effort.
They will not check your discipline.
They will not check your consistency.
It is your age that annoys them.

Why? Because at your age, they were not there.

Let’s ask a sincere question… where were you at my age?

I mean no harm, but since you want to compare age, let’s compare properly. Where were you when you were my age? And if you were not doing much at that age, how is that the fault of the person doing well today? Should everyone now reduce themselves just to make you comfortable?

You see how ridiculous that sounds?

Ageism is everywhere — workplace, family, friendships. People lose respect for someone the moment they discover their age. Imagine seeing someone who clearly carries themselves well, only for the respect to drop when they realise:

“Oh, you’re only 26?”
“Oh, you’re not even 30 yet?”
“Oh, so you’re younger than me?”

Suddenly everything you’ve said becomes “childish.”
Your achievements become “luck.”
Your competence becomes “pride.”
Your confidence becomes “arrogance.”

And before you know it, they don’t treat you based on who you are, but based on the story in their head about how small you are.

That is why people now hide their age. People are afraid to announce their age on birthdays, tell colleagues, or even tell friends. Because the moment age enters the conversation, discrimination follows. People now lie about age just to be taken seriously.

This is what ageism has caused.

The funny thing is ageism has another side too. Some people also look down on older people:

“She’s too old for this job.”
“He’s too old to be here.”
“She’s too old to start over.”
“He’s too old to be in this position.”

It exists. But today, I’m talking to the ones who look down on younger people.
The unnecessary hostility.
The aggression.
The need to prove seniority.
The envy disguised as “respect culture.”
The policing of someone else’s growth.

Age is not achievement.

Age is not qualification.
Age is not competence.
Age is not maturity.

Respect is not automatically tied to age.
Competence is not automatically tied to age.
Maturity is not automatically tied to age.

Some 22-year-olds have sense.
Some 45-year-olds don’t.
Life is not “age-by-age.”

Let people grow.
Let people shine.
Let people rise.
Let people move forward.
Let people succeed, even if they’re younger than you were at their age.

Stop age-shaming people out of insecurity.

If someone is doing well at a young age, clap for them.
If they are doing better than you were at their age, celebrate them.
If they are stepping into opportunities early, rejoice with them.
It will not remove anything from your life.

Personally, I have zero tolerance for people who look down on others simply because they’re younger. The moment someone gives that “you’re too young for this” energy, I zone out completely. I’m instantly put off. I switch off from whatever they’re saying or doing because, honestly, it’s a very silly mindset. Once you start acting like someone shouldn’t occupy a space, hold a position, or have something good simply because they’re younger — I’m gone. Fully gone. Age should never be a weapon.

To the younger ones who keep experiencing this…

Your age is not a disadvantage.
Your competence is valid.
Your growth is valid.
Your seat at the table is valid.
Your success is not “luck.”
Your discipline is not “pride.”
Your excellence is not “intimidation.”

Continue doing your part with humility, grace and confidence.
You do not owe anyone smallness to make them comfortable.

If you’ve been guilty of ageism… come closer.

Check yourself. Do better. Stop projecting your regrets onto people who are simply living their lives.

Age is not a weapon. Stop using it to bully people.

Signed,
The spokesperson for all the “small girls” and “small boys” minding their business and living their lives — and finally saying what many of you have been too scared to voice out.

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It’s been a while on here. I try not to force things anymore — if it’s not happening, then it’s not happening.

The term “Friendship” has been a burden for some time now. I believe my last post touched on it. Not because anything dramatic happened, but because I’m beginning to pay attention to the way I navigate it.

Which type of friend are you?

Are you the one with long ropes, extending grace over and over? Or are you the one who quietly walks away once something happens?

Some say you should fix things when issues come up. Some say you should give the same grace others give you. Some say walk away the moment you see signs. I think our childhoods and experiences play a huge role in how we respond. There’s always a pattern, an underlying reason; even when we can’t name it. For me, I genuinely believe there are times when you extend the long rope… and times you simply walk away. There’s no one-size-fits-all method.

Can you do life without friends?

The idea of friendship didn’t originate from humans. God Himself looked at Adam and said it wasn’t good for him to be alone. That tells me that community “the right one “ is part of God’s design for life. And if we are being honest, we can all think of moments we wouldn’t have survived without help. Friendship is not defined by how many people you know. Sometimes, the people you find the most peace with are the ones you never even expected — maybe older, younger, from a different generation entirely, people in different spheres of life from you.

Do you even want what comes with friendship?

If you want friendship, you have to want the responsibilities that come with it too. Friendships are beautiful, but they also carry burdens. You have to be prepared to be the kind of friend you expect others to be. I’ve noticed I’m not as friendly as I used to be.. I don’t even fully know why. Making friends and staying friends is a challenge for me. It’s interesting to have lived both sides: the loner side and the community side. There is usually a season when I keep my world small. Silence has a way of helping you hear yourself clearly. Then there is also a season of being surrounded by people; conversations, laughter, group chats ( which I now hate by the way).

This whole idea of “friendship groups” makes me uncomfortable. Is it better to just have individual friendships or to belong to some collective friendship where a group of people say, “We are all friends.” In my experience, those things rarely last. If you’re opening a group chat for a specific purpose, that’s different — maybe planning something or making communication easier for that particular thing. That one I understand. But forming a group chat just to “be friends” usually creates cliques inside the clique. Before you know it, two or three people become closer, there’s side-talk, silence, misunderstandings, small gossip here and there… and eventually everything collapses. I’ve seen it too many times. Not only personally, but in what other people have shared with me as well.

So I now stay away from that. I mean, it’s okay to have mutual friends — that’s normal. But defining it as “the five of us are friends,” “the six of us are friends,” starts to feel like ẹgbẹ. And almost always, someone ends up feeling left out. That’s a dynamic I’m not interested in navigating.

Before I digressed, I was talking about the seasons of being a loner or being with community. Community can be warm, healing even. It reminds you that you’re not navigating life alone. However, worlds come with their weight. Being alone brings peace, until it becomes isolation.

Community brings connection, until it becomes noise. So maybe the real lesson is balance. To know when to lean into people and when to withdraw. To understand that choosing peace doesn’t mean running away from everyone. And choosing community doesn’t mean losing yourself.

Maybe the goal is just a small, intentional circle — people you can love without feeling drained.

Personally, I don’t think I’m mentally or emotionally ready for full-on friendships right now. I don’t mean I don’t have friends — I do. But the deep expectations, the constant giving and receiving, the emotional labour… I’m not equipped for that at the moment. And it’s not selfishness; it’s honesty.

For now, the small, simple ways of connecting are what I can manage — sharing posts, sending a quick voice note, doing short check-ins. It’s not deep, but it’s genuine. And for the space I’m in, it’s enough. Mo sa fun wahala…

This isn’t rejection. It’s simply me acknowledging the season I’m in and how I’m learning to navigate connection — gently, slowly, and honestly.

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So, I guess I’m finally writing. I’ve been waiting (not procrastinating, please 😅) waiting for the best time to drop something here. You know, that magical moment of “inspiration” when I’ll feel fully stirred to write. It was 1:39 AM this morning, June 29, 2025. I was wide awake and thought — “What if I just start by recording voice notes on my phone? What if I record for ten days straight until something eventually comes together?” Turns out, I didn’t even need the 10 days 😅

Maybe that’s the push I need. The last time I posted here was on my birthday; February 22, 2025. And if we’re being honest? I did it because it’s kind of cliché to post on your birthday when you have a blog. Not because I had something deep or urgent to say, I just felt like, “Ah, I have a blog, let me not waste the date.” 🙈

That said, I’m glad I posted something at all because... drumroll... that’s still the only post I’ve made this year. Normally, between January and June, I would have dropped all the usual suspects:

• “What to do differently this year”

• “Walking in God’s will for your life in 2025”

• “How to align your goals with purpose”

• “New Year, New Fire”... (You get the vibe.)

But this year? Nothing. Zilch.

Why?

Because I’ve been in a state of self-preservation. And when I say self-preservation, I mean it in the most intentional, protective, and emotionally intelligent way. From January to (let’s say) mid-May, I was not trying to “show up” in the way I usually do. I wasn’t trying to stretch myself, explain myself, or force myself into rooms and conversations I didn’t have the strength for. I knew I needed to be physically, emotionally, and mentally present for a family gathering in May. So I hoarded all my energy like gold. I saved it. Protected it. Preserved it. And when the time came, I gave it, fully. And I’m glad I did. It felt good to actually be present. Like... not pretending to be there while zoning out emotionally. I was fully there.

But stepping back made me realize something: maybe my year is just starting now in July. Not in January like everyone else. Not in February when I turned a year older. But now. Getting into the phase of self-preservation was a conscious decision to protect my peace, mental health, and emotional energy by staying away from situations, people, or gatherings that may trigger stress, irritation, or overthinking.

I recognized that:

• I am / was in a sensitive space emotionally.

• I am / was more prone to being overwhelmed or misinterpreting interactions.

• I am / was choosing solitude or quiet spaces instead of forcing myself into social settings where I couldn’t be my full self.

• I am / was not trying to offend anyone; I am / was simply protecting my inner stability and peace of mind.

That’s self-preservation. It’s not pride, not selfishness, and certainly not being antisocial. It’s wisdom and self-awareness in action.

I was in that from January to June and I'll say so far so good. I know there are still traits of it there. I'm still in that state of self-reservation, but I wouldn't use the word improvement, but I would just use the word; maybe I'm finding more ways to manage it thanks to my therapist. I feel like this therapist is different and that's not to put all therapists I have seen in time past down, but you know when you're just thankful that at this season in your life, this is the kind of person that God has sent your way to be your therapist. Maybe if it was a different season of my life, maybe the therapist might not be helpful, but I'm really thankful to God that the therapist is helpful. Apparently, the therapist actually falls in the category of people that I kind of tend not to pay attention to. I mean, because of the generational gap and most other things but surprisingly, I'm so grateful. I’m grateful to God for the work that is happening in me as regards my emotional state and all of that.

I'm not there. I'm not even close to being there. I'm not even halfway there. But yeah, I'm just grateful that I'm aware of these things, and all of that. I don't think I've learnt vulnerability to the point where I can disclose some of the things that have gotten me to this stage yet, but I believe that maybe in the coming months or years (lol), maybe we’ll get to that point where I discuss some of the nitty-gritty that got me here.

Of course, self- preservation wasn’t without its side effects.

Friendships?

Let’s talk about that for a second.

In the process of protecting myself, I stepped back intentionally from certain relationships, not just friendships, but interactions generally. Some of them? I’m not even interested in revisiting. 🙄 Like... let them die peacefully…Others? Maybe. Maybe time will bring us back. But I honestly think the ones that needed to stay still stayed. And the ones that didn’t? Maybe they weren’t meant to. As a matter of fact, an action / inaction of someone I considered a “friend” (quotation marks very necessary) was one of the triggers that made me get to a point of self-preservation.

Identity?

I feel like I’ve had to revisit the “me” I was 4-5 years ago. And while there’s been growth, there’s also been loss. Somewhere in becoming this version of myself, I lost some parts of my core. I didn’t even realize they were missing until recently. Now, my challenge is: how do I merge the old and the new?How do I honor the essence of who I was — the joy, the light, the fire — while staying rooted in who I am now and the values I’ve gained? I don’t have the answers yet. But I know I’ll figure it out.

Work: My Other Name?

If I’m being honest, one of the most intense areas where I’ve also been self-preserving is in my career. Like... I feel like my work is the exhale of my peace. (Let me explain. 🧘🏾‍♀️) I don’t think I’ve quite figured out who I am outside of my work. And no, I’m not one of those “I’m married to my job” kind of people. But I do believe that my work is a core part of my essence. And it’s not just one thing, by the way. For those who know, I wear many hats. I work across different sectors, and each of them demands excellence. I don’t just do the work. I show up fully. Whether things are good, heavy, silent or chaotic, I show up. I think that’s why people often say, “You’re such a workaholic.” And honestly? I don’t know if that’s true or not. I personally don’t think that’s it. I just feel like working is how I function — like it’s hardwired into me. It’s not obsession; it’s rhythm. It’s how I process, cope, breathe... exist.

But even in all of this, I’ve found ways to manage the inner chaos.
You know that thing where you show up at work looking normal even when your heart is screaming? Yeah... I’ve mastered that. And I think that’s why I’m grateful for one person in particular at work. I won’t say they’re a “friend” maybe more of a confidant. Someone I can be emotionally honest with. Someone who knows the real version of me, even before I write that report, create that presentation, or draft that concept note. The one who sees me right before a Zoom call, barely holding it together… and then boom on the call, I show up like a full-blown corporate terror. Because somehow, I’m still really good at what I do, even when I’m barely holding it together. It’s rare, especially in professional settings, to have someone you can be that real with. But I think our work relationship is different from the traditional “corporate” experience. And for that? I’m thankful.

Still, maybe, just maybe, I need to start figuring out who I am outside of my work. Because as much as work fuels me, I don’t want it to be the only thing that defines me.

Maybe the real journey now is:

• What else brings me meaning, besides doing a good job?

• What do I find joy in, outside deadlines and deliverables?

We’ll see.
Maybe that’s the next story…

Happiness?

For a long time, I don’t think I even desired it. Like the actual desire for happiness wasn’t even there. But now? I do want to be happy. I can feel that desire again. And happiness? It’s expensive. Very expensive. The question is: am I willing to pay the price? And at what cost? Because here’s the thing, there’s a very thin line between pursuing your happiness and stepping on someone else’s. So how do you chase joy without losing your conscience? Where’s the balance?

I’m still figuring that out too. But this I know: Self-preservation is not weakness. It’s not pride. It’s not selfishness. It’s wisdom.

And maybe... just maybe... it’s the foundation for a healthier, happier life.

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Thank you so much for the love, the prayers, and the well-wishes on my birthday. I truly appreciate every single one of you who took the time to reach out. It meant a lot to me. I also shared a bit about my health, and I’m deeply grateful for all the prayers. In due time, I trust I’ll be able to share my story. But today, something else is on my heart—boundaries.

It’s funny because I actually wrote something on this topic back in late October or early November last year. I even started editing it, but I never felt the release to post it. At some point, I must have deleted it, thinking, “Maybe this isn’t the right time.” But today, as I was praying, this topic came back to me so strongly that I knew this was the day to finally put it out there.

Boundaries are one of the most misunderstood concepts in Christian communities. I don’t know how this plays out in other religious spaces, but I can confidently speak about the believers’ community. We talk a lot about being our brother’s keeper or checking in on people, but let’s be honest—sometimes, that’s just a cover-up for interfering in things that are none of our business. There’s a fine line between care and intrusion, and unfortunately, many of us cross it regularly without realizing it.

I remember when I got married. Barely a week or two after my wedding, I went to church, and a woman (who I wasn’t even close to) smiled at me and said, “Olabisi, I hope you’ve conceived already!” Now, I think she meant it as a joke—at least, I hope so. But why is that even a joke? First, I had just gotten married. Second, we weren’t close. And third, why would that be the first thing you say to me? That moment made me realize something: people don’t know where to draw the line. Under the guise of “caring” or “being a church family,” we ask intrusive, inappropriate, and even hurtful questions.

Where do we get this boldness from? The Audacity to Speak on Things We Know Nothing About! One of the most audacious things anyone has ever said to me was: “Olabisi, I feel like you’re just wasting time with this childbirth thing.” This person wasn’t even close to me. They had never met my husband. But somehow, they pieced together a story in their head and felt entitled to lecture me about my own life—for an entire hour.

Can we just pause for a moment? Because what is that? How do people get the confidence to impose their unsolicited opinions on others? It’s one thing if someone opens up to you about a struggle. It’s another thing entirely to assume you have the right to comment on something they haven’t even mentioned. And honestly, it’s almost always believers who do this. We, who are supposed to be filled with love and wisdom, are often the biggest culprits of being busybodies. And that’s not a personality trait—it’s a problem.

One of the biggest challenges that single women, and even married women face in the faith community is the consistent intrusion into their personal lives. This intrusion manifests in many ways. For single women, it’s the constant questioning about when they are getting married, as if their worth and purpose are incomplete until they do. For married women, the pressure shifts. The moment she gets married, the same community that pressured her into marriage starts pressing her about having children. “When is the baby coming?” as if her body and reproductive choices are a communal matter.

I remember someone telling me how, after she had her first child, people—some of whom she didn’t even know personally—began pressuring her about having a second one. “When is the next baby coming?” they would ask, as if it was their decision to make. Hilarious, isn’t it? It’s the audacity for me. People impose expectations without any regard for what someone might be going through or what they even want for themselves.

Ironically, many times, the family members of these women are not even as intrusive as the faith community. Some families understand and respect personal timelines, but in church, the expectation is that because we are all ‘one family in Christ,’ everyone has a right to comment, suggest, and sometimes even dictate what should be happening in someone else’s life. This pressure has led many people into wrong marriages and unhealthy relationships. Some women end up marrying out of desperation, not necessarily because they have found the right person, but because they are tired of being the topic of every discussion.

And even beyond marriage, the believers’ community imposes expectations that can feel suffocating. A woman in her 30s or 40s who is single is constantly made to feel like something is wrong with her, even if she is perfectly content in her season of life. A couple that has been married for a few years without children is treated with suspicion, as if there is some hidden sin or spiritual issue at play.

This isn’t just about women. Men feel it too, though differently. A single man in the church is often told to “step up,” to find a wife quickly, because “it’s not good for a man to be alone.” He is pressured into thinking that marriage is proof of his spiritual maturity.

All of this creates a toxic cycle where people make life-altering decisions out of pressure rather than purpose. How many women have entered into unhappy marriages just to silence the voices around them? How many couples have brought children into the world before they were ready, just to meet the expectations of others?

“Safe Spaces” Are Often the Most Unsafe Places. You know, over the years, I’ve realized something: Many times, the same people who say, “This is a safe space” turn out to be the ones who make it the most unsafe place to be. We’ve heard it before: “You can talk to me; this is a judgment-free zone.” But in reality, the moment you share something personal, it becomes gossip. The moment you set a boundary, you become “proud.” The moment you push back, you are labeled as “rebellious.”

We need to do better as a faith community. If we truly believe that God orders our steps, then we must trust that He leads each person in His time. Our job is not to impose, but to support, respect, and let God be God.

The Bible speaks about minding your own business.

Minding your business doesn’t mean you don’t care about people. It means you respect them enough to let them share what they want to share—on their own terms. I’m not saying we shouldn’t care about our brothers and sisters in Christ. But concern should never cross into intrusion. If someone hasn’t opened upabout a topic, don’t force a conversation about it. I know some people will say, “Oh, but we’re Africans. It’s our culture to ask these things.” But cultural norms don’t override biblical wisdom. If our tradition teaches us to be intrusive, then maybe it’s time to unlearn some of those habits.

I know this post might ruffle a few feathers. Some people might feel attacked. But honestly, if reading this makes you uncomfortable, maybe it’s time to reflect.

If someone hasn’t talked to you about their personal life, don’t assume you have the right to ask invasive questions. If you’re genuinely concerned about someone, instead of prying, pray for them. And if you’re unsure whether a question is appropriate, ask yourself: “Would I be comfortable if someone asked me this?”

People have their own timing, their own struggles, and their own journey with God. Let’s honor that by respecting their boundaries.

And if people say I mind my business too much? I think I’d rather mind my business too much than not mind it at all.

This is an ongoing conversation, and we probably can’t cover everything in one day. But the essence of it all is this—these pressures go beyond just marriage and pregnancy. They extend across different areas of people’s lives, from career choices to finances, parenting, and even lifestyle decisions. The weight of these expectations can make it difficult for people to fully embrace their own journeys. Maybe it’s time we step back and allow people the freedom to move at their own pace, without the constant scrutiny of predefined milestones.

To be fair, this pressure doesn’t only come from elders or the older generation. Peers do it too. Friends, colleagues, and even acquaintances sometimes feel entitled to ask intrusive questions or make unsolicited comments. But the truth is, just because someone is your friend doesn’t mean every topic is fair game. If certain things haven’t been brought up, maybe there’s a reason for that. Not every conversation needs to be had, and not every question needs to be asked. Sometimes, the best thing we can do for the people in our lives is to respect their silence and let them share at their own pace.

At the end of the day, we all just want to walk our journeys in peace, trusting God’s timing and leading. And wouldn’t it be beautiful if our communities made that easier instead of harder?

It’s been a while. A long while. I think I’ve been off for about three months now, and honestly, I’m just glad to be here again. I’m praying for the strength to keep showing up, to keep writing, to keep sharing. I really want to be intentional about putting things out here more often, and I just want to say a huge thank you to everyone who has stuck around.

I know quite a number of people reached out to me personally, asking if I had abandoned the blog, and honestly, I didn’t even know what to say. Not everyone knew where I was mentally and emotionally, and I wasn’t really in a place to start explaining. I also didn’t want to burden anyone with my story. I remember my last post felt really heavy, so heavy that I eventually had to take it down. If you’re looking for it, you won’t find it on the blog anymore—unless you have the email notification. I just needed some time off.

I am so, so grateful to be alive. I don’t take it for granted one bit. Because just last week, I was on a sick bed. If I’m being honest, the devil has really been toying with my health in recent times, but I thank God because I know healing is already part of my redemptive package. “He Himself took our infirmities and bore our sicknesses.” (Matthew 8:17) It’s not something I have to beg for—it’s something that’s already mine, something I’m stepping into.

But last week? Last week was tough. I was reading through my chat history and I saw some of the things I said while I was in the hospital, and I just kept saying, “Life is going out of me.” And that was exactly how it felt. Like life was draining from me. Even the doctors were shaken. I remember walking into the hospital, doing some tests, and when the results came out, the doctor just stared at me in shock. He couldn’t understand how I was still standing, still talking. He kept saying, “You shouldn’t even be conscious right now.” And I remember thinking, “Well, God is my strength. That’s the only explanation.”

Now, here I am, writing this. That’s a miracle in itself. I won’t lie, there’s still a lot I have to do for my health. Some things depend on me—medications, lifestyle changes, adjustments I need to make. And sometimes, that reality feels overwhelming. Like the weight of it all is resting on my shoulders. But I’m trusting God to help me through it.

And I’m just thankful. Thankful that my pictures are not going around for an obituary. That instead of people posting “Gone too soon,” they’re posting “Happy Birthday!” This year, this birthday, it means something different to me. It’s a reminder that I’m still here. I’m still standing. I’m still fighting. And God is not done with me yet.

There is one message I feel strongly in my spirit today—a word to myself, a word over my life; “But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31)

This year, I will not be weary. My strength is renewed daily. I walk in divine health. I run my race with grace and ease. The burdens that once felt too heavy for me are lifted by Your power. I enter into rest. I enter into a season of undeniable favor, of supernatural acceleration, of open doors I didn’t even knock on. This year, I move in divine speed. This year, I walk in the fullness of all that God has for me. No more delays. No more stagnation. No more unnecessary battles. I soar—above obstacles, above distractions, above the noise of doubt. The wind of the Spirit carries me forward, and there is no stopping me. I am soaring on the wings of faith.

It’s been a while since I posted here, but I haven’t forgotten about this blog. There were moments when I'd cringe at the thought of not keeping up, and other times I’d remind myself that ‘it’s okay to stumble sometimes’. For a long time, I was comfortable—or maybe "resigned" is the better word—with falling short. In my first post, I talked about wanting this space to be a place for honesty, where walls come down, vulnerability is welcomed, and authenticity is celebrated. Today’s post feels like a return to that.

There are a few reasons why I’ve been absent, and I think it’s worth sharing them:

Sometimes, I just felt blank. I didn’t know what to say, mostly because I was confused. I’d been praying about something for a while, waiting for a clear answer. And when I thought I finally had it, things didn’t turn out as expected. That left me wondering: Was that really the answer I’d been waiting for? Or did I misinterpret the signs?

Deadlines also became harder to meet. Anyone who knows me knows I’m usually an executor—I get things done on time, whether for work or other areas of my life. But recently, I’ve struggled to keep up. Work was manageable, but everything else felt like it was slipping through the cracks. Maybe the confusion over my unanswered prayers contributed to that. I found myself wanting to pause, to wait for the fog to lift. The thing about missing deadlines is that the more you fall behind, the easier it becomes to do nothing.

I’m doing an audit of my life. When people talk about life audits, it often means cutting people off, but for me, it’s something different. I’m looking back at my past relationships—not to walk away from them, but to see where I could have done better and whether there's a way to make things right. We all have relationships that need attention, don’t we?

I’m also taking stock of the people in my life right now. There are those I want to be more intentional with, but here’s something you may not know about me: I tend to freeze up when people call or message me. Sometimes, I’ll go weeks—or even months—without responding, and when I finally do, I find myself scrambling for an excuse. It’s a habit I’m working on, but it’s hard to break.

There are probably more reasons for my silence, but these are the big ones. For now, I’m praying for the strength to push through this season and come out on the other side a little stronger—and a little more present.

To be honest, I’m not entirely sure what the next step looks like. But I do know it involves showing up—even when it’s hard. So here I am, posting again. Maybe you’ve felt stuck too, like you’re not living up to your own expectations. If that’s the case, I hope this resonates with you.

“And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” Galatians 6:9 (NKJV)

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9 (NIV)

“So let’s not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time, we will harvest a good crop if we don’t give up, or quit.” Galatians 6:9 (MSG)

Have you ever found yourself in a similar place—struggling to keep up, feeling like you're stuck in a fog? How did you navigate through it?

Until next time, let’s keep pressing forward, one step at a time, trusting that God is at work, even when we can’t see the whole picture.

It’s been a few weeks since I last reached out, and though I didn’t plan to be away, I found myself caught in a whirlwind of confusion. Yet, in the midst of it all, I’ve seen God’s hand guiding me back to alignment.

Now, September is here—a fresh beginning! I feel a strong nudge from the Lord for us to enter this new month with a focus on intentional prayer, specifically seeking wisdom. Wisdom to navigate every challenge, to make choices that honor Him, and to find clarity in our daily lives.

James 1:5-7 (NIV):

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.”

Ephesians 1:17-18 (NIV):

“I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people.”

Unlike us, nothing is ever a mystery to God. He is never puzzled, never confused, never uncertain.

Romans 11:33-36 (NIV):

“Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! ‘Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor?’ ‘Who has ever given to God, that God should repay them?’ For from him and through him and for him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen.”

Relying on our understanding to handle this situation is, ultimately, folly. If human wisdom were enough, the matter would already be settled. That is why, now more than ever, we must pray for God’s wisdom, which transcends our limitations and brings clarity where there is none.

1 Corinthians 1:25 (NIV):

“For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.”

1 Corinthians 3:19 (NIV):

“For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight. As it is written: ‘He catches the wise in their craftiness.’”

Some of us have been earnestly praying for specific things, but we haven't received it even though God has already provided what we seek. Why? Because we aren’t responding to His gift—we’re not positioned to accept what He’s already placed before us.

1 Corinthians 2:7-9; 2:12 (NIV):

7 No, we declare God’s wisdom, a mystery that has been hidden and that God destined for our glory before time began. 8 None of the rulers of this age understood it, for if they had, they would not have crucified the Lord of Glory. 9 However, as it is written:What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived” the things God has prepared for those who love him. 

12 What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us. 

The wisdom of God in this situation is beyond what any eye has seen, what any ear has heard, and what any human mind has imagined. What God has prepared for this moment is His divine wisdom. There is a call for us to earnestly seek this wisdom, so we don’t miss a crucial opportunity or overlook what God is actively doing in our lives.

How should we pray for wisdom?

By praying in the Spirit.

Romans 8:26 (NIV):

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.”

When we speak of weakness, we mean ignorance—we pray for God’s wisdom precisely because we do not have it on our own. This is where the Holy Spirit steps in, guiding us in prayer beyond our understanding. Praying for wisdom with our own limited knowledge can only take us so far; to truly seek wisdom for the unknown, we must pray in an unknown tongue.

As you pray in the Spirit, the Holy Spirit starts to unveil hidden things, revealing divine insights and understanding that go far beyond human comprehension.

1 Corinthians 2:10-11 (NIV):

“These are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way, no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God.

He reveals them through His Word—layer by layer, line upon line, precept upon precept—a little here, a little there, until we begin to see and understand.

Psalm 119:105 (NIV):

“Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.”

I wish I could fully convey the depth of what I sense in my heart, but words fall short. So, I pray instead that God grants you a deeper revelation of His Word and His wisdom this month—a wisdom that transforms, guides, and brings clarity to every step you take.

Ephesians 3:20

(NKJV)

"Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us."

(AMPC)

"Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]—"

(MSG)

"God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us."

Take a moment to read these three versions of Ephesians 3:20 again and again. Read them aloud.

For the longest time, I was familiar with this scripture, but I hadn't caught the full revelation. Just because you understand the literal meaning of a verse doesn't mean you've grasped its deeper revelation or that the eyes of your understanding have been enlightened. God can convey many different messages to different people through the same verse. He can use it to speak to various circumstances for various individuals.

I understood the literal meaning of "exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think," but the revelation didn't fully sink in until recently. I can't entirely explain it, but this verse is incredibly powerful, people of God. That earnest desire of yours—God can fulfil it a trillionfold and more! Praise God!

I pray that God will open your eyes and reveal His unique revelation of this scripture for your specific situation.

Some years ago, I was in a relationship, and whenever major issues arose, I would resort to seeking advice from my "counselors."1 Most of the time, they advised me to pray about the will of God concerning my marital destiny. Each time I heard this advice, I felt frustrated, as if they weren't offering practical solutions. Something within me resisted the idea, and I feared that God's will might be painful or not to my liking, so I never considered it. (Well, the relationship eventually crashed and burned, but that's a whole other episode of "Ignoring God's Will: The Comedy Series" for another day!😁).

From 2020 to 2024, I had a recurring prayer point. Whenever I felt frustrated midway through the year due to unanswered prayers, my counselors would again advise me to pray about God's will for that specific matter. Still, I resisted, believing God's will wouldn't align with what I wanted. I often became sad when urged to pray about God's will in situations, and I'm sure many others can relate. Please share in the comments section if you understand how we developed this mindset about God's will. 

Romans 12:2 NKJV:

"And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God."

God's will for us is good, pleasing, and perfect. "Good" means morally excellent, beneficial, and upright; "pleasing" means satisfying, agreeable, and delightful; "perfect" means complete, flawless, and fully developed. It's important to understand that our human reasoning can never be better than God's will for us. Although things may not always go as expected, God's work is deeper than our understanding. His will surpasses what we think is best in any situation.

Perhaps the reason for unanswered prayers is that our hearts do not align with God's will. When we ask God according to His will, He reveals it to us.

1 John 5:14 NKJV:

"Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us."

God reveals His will in one way: through His Word. As you read the Bible, God speaks to you. Every scripture you open can speak directly to your situation. 

Isaiah 28:10 NKJV:

"For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept, line upon line, line upon line, here a little, there a little."

Often, we look for signs in the sky when God has already spoken through His Word, but we fail to open it. Furthermore, when you pray in the Spirit, you do so according to God's will for a specific situation.

Romans 8:27 NKJV:

"Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God."

God's will for me is good, enjoyable, and pleasing. Do I love God's will for my marital destiny over what I desired at that time? Yes, absolutely. I'm grateful that God's will came to pass. A funny illustration comes to mind: Imagine praying in the Spirit about a relationship. Your human desire may be for it to thrive and possibly lead to marriage, while your spirit might be whispering, "Time to hit the eject button on this one!" (which I guess happened in my case! 🤣).

Are you tired? Praise God.

Are you weary? Praise God.

Are you heartbroken? Praise God!

Are you frustrated? Praise God!

Are you in the middle of a storm? Praise God!

Are you stuck in one place? Praise God!

Do you feel like nothing positive is happening in your life? Praise God?

Do you think your prayers have not being answered? Praise God!

Do you think time is ticking and you haven't done that thing? Praise God!

1 Thessalonians 5:18 (AMPC)

Thank [God] in everything [no matter what the circumstances may be, be thankful and give thanks], for this is the will of God for you [who are] in Christ Jesus [the Revealer and Mediator of that will].

God has a plan and wants to open doors for you. These doors are already open. The challenge lies in recognizing these doors and walking through them. He opened a door for Rahab, and she became an ancestor of Jesus. He opened a door for Joseph, and he became prime minister of Egypt in a land where he was a stranger.

Many believers live a Christian life without entering the doors that God has opened for them. Kenneth E. Hagin once said that for 12 years he pastored, and God told him, "I didn't tell you to pastor." This principle applies not just to ministry but also to the marketplace. Kenneth Copeland prophesied in 1979 that God ordained every real scientific breakthrough to come through believers, but many are not in a position to receive it.

Luke 12:22-32 MSG

22-24 He continued this subject with his disciples. “Don’t fuss about what’s on the table at mealtimes or if the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your inner life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the ravens, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, carefree in the care of God. And you count far more.

25-28 “Has anyone by fussing before the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? If fussing can’t even do that, why fuss at all? Walk into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They don’t fuss with their appearance—but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them. If God gives such attention to the wildflowers, most of them never even seen, don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you?

29-32 “What I’m trying to do here is get you to relax, not be so preoccupied with getting so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep yourself in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Don’t be afraid of missing out. You’re my dearest friends! The Father wants to give you the very kingdom itself.

The mistake is that we are trying to 'get' while God is trying to 'give', but what He wants to give is not what we are trying to get. We are not aligning our prayers with His desires. It’s about entering into what God has in store for you.

Romans 4:1-3 MSG

So how do we fit what we know of Abraham, our first father in the faith, into this new way of looking at things? If Abraham, by what he did for God, got God to approve him, he could certainly have taken credit for it. But the story we’re given is a God-story, not an Abraham-story. What we read in Scripture is, 'Abraham entered into what God was doing for him, and that was the turning point. He trusted God to set him right instead of trying to be right on his own.

For everything, there is a season and a time for every purpose. In other words, every season has a purpose. In this current season of your life, God wants you to enter into something. Stepping in will meet all of your needs. God's doors are open, and they are permanently open. It is our hearts that often remain closed. Jesus is knocking on your heart's door in order to open it. The tests and trials you are going through prepare you for what lies behind that door. The more painful the process, the more strategically important that door is in your life. Just like renovating a building requires tearing down old structures, the process may seem destructive. The building will remain stagnant unless you allow this renovation to happen.

Romans 5:2 MSG

We throw open our doors to God and discover at the same moment that he has already thrown open his door to us. We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand—out in the wide open spaces of God’s grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise.

To open that door, you need to do the following four things:

1. Forgive: Unforgiveness closes the door to your heart.

2. Be generous. Joseph's generosity in interpreting dreams opened the door for his advancement.

3. Spend time praying in the Spirit (read my previous post for more light on this).

4. Spend time worshipping God. 

Romans 5:3-6 MSG

3-5 There’s more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we’re never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can’t round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!

6 Christ arrives right on time to make this happen. He didn’t, and doesn’t, wait for us to get ready. He presented himself for this sacrificial death when we were far too weak and rebellious to do anything to get ourselves ready.

Finally, it's not about writing out what you think God should do in your life; it's about opening your heart to God and discovering the door He has already opened for you.

Hello There,

How are you doing? (I really mean this question.) Anytime I'm asked this question, my reflex response is 'I am fine o'. Even my mom answers the question herself because she knows my response already.

I’m gonna ask this question again :-)

We're already in the second half of the year. Praise God! I know it can be overwhelming to assess your 2024 goals vis-à-vis what you've achieved in the first half of the year. I'd suggest spending some time Praying in the Spirit about this. Often, we set ambitious goals without seeking the will of God for us in that particular year.

Romans 8 NKJV

²⁶ Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. ²⁷ Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God. ²⁸ And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

To pray in the Spirit, you must be baptized in the Holy Ghost with the evidence of speaking in tongues. If you haven't been baptized in the Holy Ghost with this evidence of speaking in tongues, I strongly advise you to consider it as it is a portal to the accessing the supernatural.

In December 2023, I outlined my fantastic plans for 2024, but after a few days, I realized I hadn't sought God's will in making that list. Many times, we create goals and expect God to bless them without aligning with His plans. Hence, at the beginning of this year, I approached God with an open heart and asked Him to reveal His plans for me. His direction was completely different from my initial list. It dawned on me that pursuing those goals would have been a waste of 2024.

The beauty of following God's list is that His plans may not align with what we think we want, but He knows us best and has our best interests at heart. He sees the future we cannot and knows what's best for us. When I face challenges pursuing His plans, I remind Him, 'You're the one who told me to do this, so please make a way.' It's His plan; my role is to follow faithfully. Also, just because God tells you to do something doesn't mean you're doing it His way. (A topic for another day.)

Asides my daily general confessions, I have some specific confessions for this month which centers on receiving help, no loss, and recovery of lost things. Last week, three events confirmed my confessions. Firstly, I misplaced my iPad in a crowded area. Initially lost, it was miraculously found after I reached out to those still at the location. Secondly, within two days, my car encountered issues twice on different roads due to fuel leakage. If you know a bit about cars, this was dangerous, but thankfully, I found help both times.

These events reinforced one thing: 'you will have what you say.'

What are you saying?

Take care, and stay blessed.

It's been a while from here.

A friend of mine recently asked why I hadn't sent out any newsletter lately. I jokingly told her 'Life has been lifing’. So yes, life has been happening, but through it all, I am grateful to God for the gift of life.

I hope you've been doing well too amidst everything going on in the world. I know it can be overwhelming at times, but I encourage you to take moments to breathe.

Perhaps you find yourself in a season of silence, waiting, and preparation. I pray that God gives you the insight and wisdom to understand what He is doing and that He gives you the strength to stay in the waiting room. I pray that you are able to see clearly that God is doing a new thing and He will go ahead of you to make all crooked paths straight.

For some other folks, they might be in a season of manifestation and birthing. The time to harvest what has since been planted is here. However, you need to understand that the harvest is from a place of rest. I pray that the earth will be aware that indeed the glory of God is upon you. Things are going to happen so fast your head will swim, one thing fast on the heels of the other. You won't be able to keep up. Everything will be happening at once- and everywhere you look, blessings!

Take care, and stay blessed!

I recently embarked on a trip, and it brought back a lot of memories—some good and some not so good. At times, you don't understand certain feelings until something triggers them. Despite the not-so-good memories, I realized I can’t avoid places or activities that bring them up. I shouldn’t let past pains or hurts prevent me from living my life or doing what I need to do. What's necessary is for me to deal with those memories.

Those memories stem from pain, hurt, and disappointment. What I've come to realize is that we all have something to heal from. When people talk about healing, some think it means something significant must have happened for someone to need healing. However, every single form of pain, hurt, betrayal, or disappointment requires healing.

Often, we carry baggage from past hurts, pain, or disappointments through the years and seasons of our lives, which inadvertently limits our growth and mental wellness.

The Bible says in Matthew 11:28–30 (NIV): "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. My yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

What does isolation do to you? The devil's agenda is to cut you off from your environment so that his plans and purposes can prevail in your life. You might be asking yourself if it's possible to be free from these things. It is indeed possible if you make a decision in your heart and ask God for guidance.

The Bible says in Jeremiah 33:3 (NIV): "Call to me, and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know."

I pray for anyone reading this whose heart is heavy and filled with pain that our God and Father will touch you and grant you comfort and peace that only He can provide. Father God, please heal their bodies, mend their hearts, and restore their spirits. Surround them with your presence, and let them feel your loving embrace.

If you have any thoughts or experiences to share, please leave a comment below.

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Hey there,

Have you ever found yourself trapped in a cycle of guilt, shame, and unworthiness due to past mistakes? Years ago, in the midst of doing my possible best to deepen my relationship with God, I made a mistake. Merely labelling it a mistake might be an understatement. I consciously continued to engage in something I knew was wrong. This was something I never imagined I could do (well, until I did 🙈)

Eventually, the cat came out of the bag and as my people would say, the fowl’s rear end (yansh 🤣) was exposed. I immediately went into a state of shame, unworthiness, and guilt. I allowed it to consume me to the extent that I began to take the wrong steps in an attempt to rectify my wrongdoing. I allowed the opinions and judgments of others to further compound my feelings of shame and unworthiness. Unable to confide in those around me due to the weight of my shame and guilt, I became isolated in my suffering. It felt as though I was constantly immersed in a sea of guilt, shame and unworthiness, unable to escape its suffocating encirclement.

Now, you might be wondering if I had committed an act as grave as killing Jesus. Rest assured, my dear friend, I did not.

After a while, I began to realize that I had become a mere shadow of my former self. I knew I had to speak to two individuals I trusted. When I told both individuals what happened, they saw the issue as really minute. Like it was not something I was supposed to feel much guilt, shame and unworthiness for. I spoke to these individuals separately and one thing both asked was ‘is that everything?’ Both individuals seemed to view the issue as trivial, almost inconsequential, and questioned whether it warranted the intense emotions I was experiencing. Their response, while unexpected, brought a sense of relief, as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. They both offered good counsel on how to address the issue.

Despite feeling a temporary sense of relief after speaking with my trusted counsellors, the grip of guilt and shame persisted. Occasionally, my thoughts were infiltrated by doubt and self-condemnation. For years, I struggled with these emotions, unable to fully shake off the weight of past transgressions. I thought I had moved on from the situation but the emotional scars remained, thereby undermining my peace.

After some years, I got exposed to Apostle Paul’s Theology of Righteousness during my level one class in Kenneth Hagin’s Rhema Bible Training Center Nigeria. Apostle Paul received a revelation of the God-kind of Righteousness. Righteousness, as he taught, is the ability to stand in the presence of God without the consciousness of sin, guilt, or inferiority as though sin never did exist. God made righteousness available to humanity through the coming of Jesus. His blood served as a sufficient substitute for our sins. Jesus Christ bore our sins on the cross. Romans 5: 17 emphasizes that righteousness is a gift; we don’t have to work for it.

This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t walk worthy of God’s calling (Ephesians 4:1). What I am conveying here is that nothing should make you feel guilty, ashamed, and unworthy. Until I came into the understanding of what righteousness means, I struggled with shame, guilt, and unworthiness. I am thankful I was exposed to these truths. Of course, there were times when the devil tried to instill feelings of guilt and unworthiness in me. When that happened, I declared the word of God, my redemptive realities in Ephesians 1 verses 3-14. Verse 7 specifically states that in Him we have redemption through is His blood, the forgiveness of sins…

There is something about people who know about your past; they may not stop associating you from your previous self. Whenever people try to remind you about where you are coming from, you must know where you presently are, so that you can say to yourself “That was in the past, I’m forgiven of the Lord”. There are some individuals who will never forgive you for your past bad behaviour, they will never welcome your new self. While that’s understandable, don’t let them hold you, to your past. It’s very unfair and unkind. When they publish your past records, give them your current report card.

You were not born ashamed. If they can shame you, they can control you. Shame masks your identity because once you forget who you are, you will malfunction. Once you forget whose you are, you will malfunction.

Have you ever encountered people who were unable to forgive you for your past mistakes or bad behaviour? How did you handle this? Feel free to share in the comment section. I’d love to learn from you.

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Hey there,

Olabisi here, finally taking the leap into doing something I’ve been avoiding for ages. You know, the idea of sharing my thoughts and experiences on faith, relationships and life in general which is a core part of my calling, has been on my to-do list forever. For a long time, I've kept myself locked up, keeping my thoughts and experiences hidden away behind walls of privacy.

I’ve noticed a pattern: I tend to shy away from doing the things God has called me to do especially when it’s about stepping out of my comfort zone. The fear of becoming too engrossed in something and the concern that it might overshadow other aspects of my life have led me to evade these acts of obedience.

It’s a pleasure to finally embark on this journey of sharing my thoughts, knowledge, and experience with all of you. This platform is one of the ways I am obeying His Call.

So, here we are. I’m finally ready to share my thoughts on faith, relationships, and life in general. These topics are a core part of my life and I am really excited to share them with you.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. Your support and engagement mean the world to me, and I am excited to embark on this journey with each and every one of you.

Here’s to new beginnings and the uncharted territories of self-expression. I can’t wait to see where this path leads us.

Please drop a comment below to let me know your thoughts and subscribe to stay updated on the latest posts!

With Love,

Olabisi

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