The Small Girl You Think You Can Intimidate

When age becomes the only thing you see

We are in the era of buy one, get one free… buy two, get two free, so apparently you people are getting me for free again; barely a moment after my last post. Here’s my Black Friday offer to you 🖤🛍️

👀👉🏾 Come closer. This particular post is for certain people. If you know you’re guilty, collect your chair and sit in the front row. If you’re not bold enough to send this post to the people that are guilty of what I’m about to say, simply put it on your WhatsApp status. They will click it, they will read it, and the Holy Spirit will minister correction.

Let’s face this thing called ageism.

What exactly is Ageism?

In my own words, ageism is simply when people treat you differently or look down on you because of your age.
Not your competence.
Not your maturity.
Not your experience.
Not your capacity.
Just age.

It happens when people feel you’re “too young” to hold a position, too young to have things going well for you, too young to be successful in your career, business, or life generally. It also shows up when people assume someone is “too old” for certain things.

But today, I’m focusing on the way older people look down on younger people; not because the younger ones are wrong, but because it didn’t happen for them at that age.

Examples… because some of you pretend you don’t know what I mean 👀

• You get a promotion, someone older becomes uncomfortable because at your age they were still struggling.
• You show competence, they say “small girl, calm down.”
• You speak well or contribute in a meeting, they say “you’re talking too much for your age.”
• You’re confident, they say “better respect yourself, I’m older than you.”
• You seem to have a clear sense of direction in your life, they start calling you “over-ambitious,” “proud,” or “small girl with big eyes.”
• You introduce yourself and the first thing they say is, “Ah, you’re my younger sister’s age-mate” (some will even switch to Yoruba: egbe aburo mi lo je); as if reducing you to their sibling’s category somehow defines your worth.

They will not check your effort.
They will not check your discipline.
They will not check your consistency.
It is your age that annoys them.

Why? Because at your age, they were not there.

Let’s ask a sincere question… where were you at my age?

I mean no harm, but since you want to compare age, let’s compare properly. Where were you when you were my age? And if you were not doing much at that age, how is that the fault of the person doing well today? Should everyone now reduce themselves just to make you comfortable?

You see how ridiculous that sounds?

Ageism is everywhere — workplace, family, friendships. People lose respect for someone the moment they discover their age. Imagine seeing someone who clearly carries themselves well, only for the respect to drop when they realise:

“Oh, you’re only 26?”
“Oh, you’re not even 30 yet?”
“Oh, so you’re younger than me?”

Suddenly everything you’ve said becomes “childish.”
Your achievements become “luck.”
Your competence becomes “pride.”
Your confidence becomes “arrogance.”

And before you know it, they don’t treat you based on who you are, but based on the story in their head about how small you are.

That is why people now hide their age. People are afraid to announce their age on birthdays, tell colleagues, or even tell friends. Because the moment age enters the conversation, discrimination follows. People now lie about age just to be taken seriously.

This is what ageism has caused.

The funny thing is ageism has another side too. Some people also look down on older people:

“She’s too old for this job.”
“He’s too old to be here.”
“She’s too old to start over.”
“He’s too old to be in this position.”

It exists. But today, I’m talking to the ones who look down on younger people.
The unnecessary hostility.
The aggression.
The need to prove seniority.
The envy disguised as “respect culture.”
The policing of someone else’s growth.

Age is not achievement.

Age is not qualification.
Age is not competence.
Age is not maturity.

Respect is not automatically tied to age.
Competence is not automatically tied to age.
Maturity is not automatically tied to age.

Some 22-year-olds have sense.
Some 45-year-olds don’t.
Life is not “age-by-age.”

Let people grow.
Let people shine.
Let people rise.
Let people move forward.
Let people succeed, even if they’re younger than you were at their age.

Stop age-shaming people out of insecurity.

If someone is doing well at a young age, clap for them.
If they are doing better than you were at their age, celebrate them.
If they are stepping into opportunities early, rejoice with them.
It will not remove anything from your life.

Personally, I have zero tolerance for people who look down on others simply because they’re younger. The moment someone gives that “you’re too young for this” energy, I zone out completely. I’m instantly put off. I switch off from whatever they’re saying or doing because, honestly, it’s a very silly mindset. Once you start acting like someone shouldn’t occupy a space, hold a position, or have something good simply because they’re younger — I’m gone. Fully gone. Age should never be a weapon.

To the younger ones who keep experiencing this…

Your age is not a disadvantage.
Your competence is valid.
Your growth is valid.
Your seat at the table is valid.
Your success is not “luck.”
Your discipline is not “pride.”
Your excellence is not “intimidation.”

Continue doing your part with humility, grace and confidence.
You do not owe anyone smallness to make them comfortable.

If you’ve been guilty of ageism… come closer.

Check yourself. Do better. Stop projecting your regrets onto people who are simply living their lives.

Age is not a weapon. Stop using it to bully people.

Signed,
The spokesperson for all the “small girls” and “small boys” minding their business and living their lives — and finally saying what many of you have been too scared to voice out.